“All that I am, or hope to be”

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The trip was awesome possum.

We rode ATVS, on scary terrain, had free flow of breezers (they were sgd2 each what the fuck) rode on an elephant, had fun being literally washing-machinized at the beach, had amazing seafood, and explored on our own. Will elaborate activities, what to look out for etc soon as this is phone updated!

On a side note, i wouldnt have changed any little bit of it for anyone or anything else.

So here's what happened today..

It's been about half a year since my dad has passed away.
Today, his sister, my aunt, texted my mum.

And told her things no widow would want to hear.

She said my dad told that aunt that he wanted to divorce her, that she was an awful wife, that he didn't love her, and that whatever money he left behind from his passing belongs to them(his siblings).

Which, by the way, in Islamic law, is non-existent, because not only does my dad have children, but he has a SON, the rightful owner and holder of every single thing he left behind, to aid the family, help us survive. Although my brother doesn't get a hold of the money(neither do i), we don't mind, because we believe money isn't something to fight over. Mom holds the money, but not for her self indulgence, rather to support what's left of the family, for our food, our education, our daily requirements and the roof above our heads.
She depends on nobody for support, gathering her strength solely from the thought of keeping her children happy. Yet people are cruel.

Fighting like hungry piranhas over meat that isn't even rightfully theirs. There is no will written and no evidence that anything they said were true. Is money worth lying, cheating, badmouthing the deceased, hurting widows and orphans for? Apparently it is, to them that is.

Tell me, does it seem to you like a husband does not appreciate or love his wife if before his death he bought her gifts out of no apparent reason? Does a husband not love his wife if he wakes up, goes to work, eat, go everywhere and sleep with her? Or, most importantly, does a husband not love his wife, if he took his last breath right on her crying wife's lap?

I am mortified by their behavior . They have no sense of pity or remorse at all. I remember when my dad's mother passed away, and that particular nasty aunt actually bought a 4d number of my late grandmother's IC. Firstly, buying numbers or gambling is strictly prohibited in Islam. Secondly.. ON THE SAME DAY YOUR MOTHER DIED? REALLY?

I literally, after hearing everything that happened, called her and screamed at the phone to her. It was a rude conversation, but i don't regret it. I was thoroughly angered. She not only hurt my mother, she also said things about my father that were most likely untrue. I claimed i'd know better if my mother was a good wife or not and if my father loves her because not only are we all bonded by the same blood and that i'm super close to him, but like, hello? we live under one fucking roof, i for hell sure know what's happening and know that my parents did love each other before my father left.

Sure, every married couple has their ups and downs, and there was probably a time where dad must have said something to them about my mother, but they were fighting... People say wrong things to wrong people when they fight. Still, gives her no reason to bring it up after he has passed on, to his poor widowed wife struggling to keep things in order at home for the children.

And by right, my father's brothers are supposed to take care of me and my brother, we are fully their responsibilities but have they ever called asking how we're doing? Ever offered us a helping hand or any sort of support? No, none at all. But, whatever, we're doing fine without them.

The issue is the aunt's heartless behavior towards my mother. Hurtful words, for a wife who prays for his husband day and night and misses him dearly. It's beyond my limit of acceptance. Sure, me and mom don't work out sometimes, we have our differences. I may find her naggy or vice versa, but she is still my mom and regardless of the irritation i sometimes get from her, I owe her my life, and definitely some kind of relief from the pain she faces from losing her dear husband.

Maybe they've never felt such remorse before, leading them to be ignorant to the fact that what they're doing or saying literally wounds a person inside. It's inhumane.

Here we are, clinging to every hope we have left to each other, finding solutions to our problems without asking for any outsider's help at all, trying to be as independent as possible, and there comes an awful aunt destroying whatever happiness is left in this home.

I am ashamed to be related to such people, I am ashamed for my father as well, that he probably had hoped they'd take care of us... but didn't.

Only god knows.

3 years

and

3.5 yrs of knowing him.

Strange isn't it, how in that span of time you grow so fond of a person that you realize he's turned into a part of you, like literally? Like a limb. Or a third eye. Or another voice in your head. A loving, calming voice that constantly comforts you and reminds you that you are being loved.

It's weird how you don't mind leaving everything behind for the person. Logically, what is up with that? Leave everything for one person. It sounds foolish.