“All that I am, or hope to be”

June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 November 2013 December 2013 February 2014 May 2014 June 2014

It has never came to me just how money is so important in everything. My mum and dad once told me life is all about money now. You won't survive without it. I always thought i could. But i realize now what they meant. They didn't mean survive with food and water only, they also meant feelings. How frustrating it is. And it's not even me. I'm still living in full blown comfort. Its him. And it's literally burning me inside out just how frustratingly irritating hearing him broke.

What is money?
Work. One way or another, legal or not, it's a form of work. You struggle somewhere somehow to get that money. You perspire, or stay up late at night, receive compulsive comments... But you get some money. So money is equals to effort.

And where do you spend your money? 1, your own survival. 2, your loved ones.

I barely got a taste.

Of course, i wouldnt understand because i didn't loan $4000 from a bank just to supply a useless jobless person some cash. I will never understand because i dont think id be that so freakin stupid. And knowing my pay is equals to three peanuts an hour, hell no i wouldn't have done that. But hey, it's too late huh? Swallow.
I don't know that asshole but i hate him beyond words.

If you tell me your money goes to petrol for meeting me, simple; don't have a bike.
If you tell me your money goes to feeding me, i'll straight up tell you its a lie because i've always paid you back no matter how insistent you are on the treat. I even slip notes into your wallet. Shit. Why was i so nice?
If you tell me its for my stuff, i'll kill you because 99% of things i buy are from my own account.

Oh the rare instances you buy me things.
Not that im asking for it.
But if money is = to effort...

Then i guess i'm pretty much effortless huh? Easy. Naive. Need $20? In a jiffy. No problem. Walking ATM.
Never loan somebody above 10% of your monthly income, whatever the amount. Never loan money to somebody you constantly complain about. It'll lead you to shit. They have shit written all over their faces. Oh i've read too many.

Do something. Sell your ass. Anything.

We're all different right?

Age is one, other side, different lines,
Different roles,
Different rules to abide by,
And all these lines self divide to races of men,
Cause we're all different right?