All that i am, or hope to be

“All that I am, or hope to be”

Friday, October 28, 2011

i suckkk

Thursday, October 27, 2011

so according to this video : http://www.clicknetwork.tv/watch.aspx?c=1&p=8&v=532

to measure your real cup size,

measure your mid-boobs with a tape, add 2 cm.

then measure below your boobs.

minus the results.

cup analysis:

AA- 1-10

A- 11-12

B- 13-14

C- 15-17

D- 18-19

HAHAHA my measurements:

upper boob - 82cm + 2 = 84 cm

below boob = 67 cm (tiny ribs mehhhh)

84-67 = 17

=( still a c, rynn?

when you gonna lose weight? gah.

love.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Love is when you shed tears and you still want him,

when he ignores you and you still care for him.

Love is when you miss him even before you part

When you can listen to him talk all night,

and never get sick of his voice,

When the sound of his name send chills down your spine.

Love is when you see his smile

the moment you close your eyes,

When you don't want to be anywhere without him.

Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you.

Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with him

Love is when you go out to eat and give him most of your
French fries without making him give you any of his.

now that, folks, is true love.

am i still pretty? HUH AM I AM I!!!?

oh and happy deepavali!

(no offence or intended insult via picture, i was using a mask. peace.)

Monday, October 24, 2011

three words you never said.

you've seen the worst of me now, i'm all alone, you lost me somehow.
"are you still in love with me, or someone else?"

see i left another good man last night, i wonder if he'll miss me, god knows i tried
but i think that maybe the thing that i did wrong,was put up with this bullshit for far too long
im not gonna sleep, i dont want to dream about the things i used to need
im not gonna cry, or live his lies, i'll just drive on straight on this old road i've been to many times before.

what's the matter with our ways,
i'm missing something,
not to blame, but don't you worry this will pass
it's only cus my mind's been spinning
no control, i've lost my head,
all of this is just beginning
not enough... never enough
i only want to keep on dreaming.

careful what you wish for, love.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

close your mouth. please. for once.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Love says, 'I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person.' Abortion says, 'I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself.'

Thursday, October 20, 2011

tru luv.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

i have no idea what today is about.

this is killing me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

well, i have been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
you know i used to be alone before i knew you
and it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not a silent victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken prayer

last words

Monday, October 17, 2011

everything i said was really never enough.
you're harder to please than me.
i told you you were everything that ever mattered.
i told you i didnt care about anything else.
i gave you, really, all i could.

i guess, all along, it was you that never had enough.
i took away everything that mattered to you.
but i wasn't enough. well here's your chance.
tonight you've left me.
an official 1 and a half year's worth of....
of waste.

i take the hint. i'm sorry for wasting that 18 months of yours.
i'm sorry for all the nights and tears and anger.
i'm sorry, even, for the smiles, for the good times, for the laughter.
for the joy and the honesty and everything.
i'm sorry you've met all of my family,
and i'm sorry i'll have to tell the truth when they ask.
i'm sorry for stopping you from meeting and knowing girls.
sorry too, to have wasted your money.

thank you for the birthday surprise.
thank you for spending nights with me so i wont feel alone.
thank you for coming all the way to woodlands, countless of times to see me.
thank you for bringing me to places i never thought had any magic.
thank you for the food, the movies, the gifts, the moments, the warmth, the kisses.
thank you for the hope and life you gave.

thank you for the memories.

this is it.
this is goodbye.

its really over.

friends - or maybe not. maybe better.

Friday, October 14, 2011

strange isnt it, how your heart can just jump to someone else in just one night.

how your hands want to hold someone else,

how your eyes want to look into his.

note to self: stay away. enough complications.

THANK YOU ILHAM FOR ACCOMPANYING ME! XOXO.

smiling but we're close to tears,
even after all these years,
but just now, got the feeling
that we're meeting
for the first time

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I'll throw the pages on the floor
I'm starting over like before
I'll change this stupid ending
And stay with you forever more
But when I'm lying next to you
It's hard to bargain with the truth
Cause when you know the love is gone
The time has come to write your last song

It's hard to think of you and I
As total strangers
I've lived this last goodbye
A million times or more in my mind

hearts and kisses

Thank god for Farel, Farhad and Ilham.

They're so sweet to look after me and check up on me now and then,

asking if im okay and in need of company. They're so nice i feel like crying.

Anyway, THK came yesterday. Happy birthday Farihin!

These are the times i miss with them! We used to be just like this.

Bursting with laughter every freaking second.

brothers?

cheers ;)

birthday boy (inserts hearts) we used to be freaking close.

hahahah!

hahahahahahah!

syq stuck on the floor

I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME.

but i was sick. we watched some horror flick, and i got scared.

so a hero came along.

here's he, communicating with piqy!

farhad was real nice.

he put me to sleep and made sure i really slept cus he knew i needed it.

thank you farhad, you're the sweetest.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

it's all great. i havent felt this for a LONG while. worry-free, full of lighthearted floaty happiness. it's almost like... almost like the first time. I wish this feeling would never ever go away. It's like drinking water after a year of drought. Like a relief, a pleasure, a treat. A child receiving candy after starving for weeks. I thank god, and i thank you. Even though i hate you sometimes, times being hard and it's a thread-thing cling, i've never even thought of how life would be like without you. there's always that small hope inside that screams there's a way. That there's always, always a way.

the deep breaths he take, the warmth of his skin heating up the cold of the night...

his laughter, his eyes, his smell, his kisses. his smile...

Monday, October 10, 2011

FFFFFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM

Saturday, October 08, 2011

during the hardest of times,

you always have something fun to do,

to leave me behind for.

it's so unfair.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I simply love this picture.

Always have, always will.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

What do you prefer...Muscular, Skinny or Fat guys?

All the guys! HAHA

Joe Brooks

dashing isn't he? check out his songs. awesome on a rainy morning.

Monday, October 03, 2011

1 YEAR, 7 MONTHS, 15 DAYS, 9 HOURS, 18 MINUTES AND 42 SECONDS BUT HEY WHO'S COUNTING RIGHT!

in theory, i am one of the most well-controlled, optimistic person you'll know.
but in context i'm practically water.

i guess only few would know for sure.
but the thing is, you knew. and it hit me hard. really smack-hard.

how can i fall when i'm wounded like that?

maybe i'm too used to you.
maybe you're like an unbreakable habit.

but don't mind, it's a common reaction.

perhaps time will tell. we'll all wait in disgust watching us
drag with disputes and lick up what we spit.
pretty.

officially over

Saturday, October 01, 2011

im always too lazy to use my camera.