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Reochque
Hi. Rynn Reochque. Confused and always naive.
Always out of this world, engorged with endless possibilities. I am grace. I am muddled. I am elegance. I am cluttered. I am all you can imagine. Restricted and free. Handicapped, gifted. Broken, fixed.
Click "all that i am or hope to be" for archives.

Lovestruck, evident by the burn

Brought meaning to life.
Brought life to meanings.
So deeply in love.
from 16/04/10 - forever
And no amount of science can explain why

"A friend is nothing but a known enemy"

Kurt Cobain, and life's perfect.
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“All that I am, or hope to be”
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Thursday, June 30, 2011

geting worse by the moments.

doing nothing here, doing nothing there.

i feel like in the end, i really am just alone.


Yesterday was good and bad.
Well, least if i'm thrown out somewhere, i've landed into safe arms.
But i can't help feelings like a piece of trash.
Cus you know what they say, one man's trash is another's treasure.
So i have been thrown out......... like trash.

As my 18th come even closer, i can't help but dread the seconds.
At the back of my mind, i'm hoping for something wonderful, unlike the past 17 years,
all full of bullshit to the extent of this new fear of birthdays.
But the worse part isn't that, it doesn't only apply for MY birthday.
It's like there's this vile cruelty inside, telling me that if i have to have sucky birthdays, so does everyone else. And i can't help feeling the rage when someone who's supposed to help me recover from past birthday injuries not only leave the mission unaccomplished, but decides to go make someone else's birthday totaly complete. I mean what the hell, you make mine sucky, and hers extremely full of beautiful surprise. I'll never forgive you, you just made my Fragapane Phobia  worse. It has never been good, i swear. I remember the breakup, the time someone i loved told me that it was 'just another day', the leaving, the loss of friends, the cake i was forced to buy for myself, the time when everyone forgot, the day my rabbit died, oh the misery. And that's only like, 7 out of 17 birthdays. The rest, i kinda dont wish to remember.

And no wonder the witch calls me a cursed child.

Well, that's at the back of my mind.
On a normal time of day i only wish for myself to sleep it away, the day before and after. Not to mention the day itself. Wishing i'd sleep and when i wake it'll all be over and done with.

Subconsciously, i realize i'm trying to escape anyway i can. I don't want to be here, i want to get away, go on a holiday, be an anonymous person where nobody would know who i am.
It's always this time of year that i honestly deeply wish to disappear.
It's not that i'm hoping for anything extravagant, just that it's always around this time bad luck falls like heavy rain on a monsoon seasoned day. It's always been terrible, i just wish this would all change.

I strongly pray someone would do something to change it, but what can they do?
They can't change the past, can't undo the heartache.
For once, i want it to be a good day, a good day just for me.
I don't want anyone else to steal away the love from those that i do,
and i don't want it to be messy and horrendous.

But on second thought, too risky.
I don't want it to exist even.


Sunday, June 26, 2011

waited for you to call,
waited too long.

i am not your dog.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

oh i know what's missing!

inspiration.
deep down i still feel sucky despite smiles and laughter.
i don't know how to find it...
its like im nowhere.
was somewhere, but now i'm nowhere.
and where am i heading?
nowhere.

i'm not looking forward to ANYTHING.

and fuck 2nd july.
i wish it'll just skip through.
i know nothing will happen, i know it will suck.

as much as i gain proper love from you,
that's as much as i lost all my friends.
sigh.

Monday, June 20, 2011

I had a wonderful dream, but i woke up missing something, the feeling was almost overpowering.

I hope i can get through this, boyfriend says i've been real weird recently.
What, i havent been myself? Really?
but of course only you see it
Cus i wear such an impenetratable mask elsewhere.

Wait, what was wrong again?

Oh yeah, that overpowering feeling.
Dear god, i need help filling in the blanks.
Helping words?
This passage is really incomplete.
Now, please?

Monday, June 06, 2011

sigh.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOW _|_


ever felt so angry you wish the person youre mad at would just die and disappear?
im sure you have. sucks doesnt it?
well this is worse.
it's like someone cheated.
cheated on you, and then you feel just plain fucked up.

but yeah nobody said it would be easy anyway.

so, whatever. i have a future to work on.
not gonna waste time.