called me today. Resulting in me offing my phone and going out for a long tiring stride. I can't avoid saying this. Im in deep deep waters of green envy. Okay, so maybe, we've broken up lah, but don't need to rub in how PERFECT things are for you. But well more of today. It was pretty boring. Yeah thats it. And wet and cold. Its been wet and cold for sooo long now. My sun died.
Mum is probably one of the most paranoid person i've ever met. And the most dramatic. And confused. Well, besides myself, on the last bit. She can't see a speck of dust, and she'd exaggerate about my hair dropping around the house. And she's so dramatic, she won't be allowed to act because it's too dramatic. Oh and i AM fasting if you people think that i wont. I'm a good girl.
I recieved randy's letter. Here's my reply.
To Randy.
I do think of you, a lot... And enough drugging around. It won't work, they just make you worst. I can't wait to see you too. It's been ages. And yeah, i want you to sing in my ear again. It's killing me now, the missing. Being around with you, you bringing me so close to nature... It's like heaven. I feel safe and alive with you. Too bad we're so distanced. Too bad you're there and i'm here. Too bad for everything. Too bad you're still waiting. You're one of the few people offering me daily love and affection. It's not that i don't wanna take that offering, i just bottle it up. For a rainy day. Sometimes Randy, i feel wrong when i think of you. You're like always at the back of my head, whispering to me, telling me things, but you seem so... u know... far. I'm avoiding you because i miss you, and if i talk to you, i'd have the urge to see you again, and it's killing me in there. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i ignored you. I'm sorry i told you to go away and that i don't need you. You're one of the few people i needed MOST. MOSTTT. I just never realised it. I'll come to you soon. In your arms. In the grass pot by the little waterfall beside the jacaranda trees and the lake near the sea. Where the grass is greenest.
I'll see you there. Miss you dearly.
Much loves.
im more afraid than i ever was. im shaking like a little cold baby chicken when it realises its mother was cooked and eaten.
i keep thinking your shadow is still there. awfully lingering, awfully scaring me, till i get so scared i cry and fall asleep.
like a deep cut that has no feeling, numbed, blood flowing that has no colour...
im so numb and afraid. so so afraid.
i cant cope with this. but what is life but all about coping? its so sucky. i wanna flow off down a lake or something and merge with something that would make me less noticably scared. damn, I HATE IT.
last night i couldn't wake up. i was like forcing myself to wake up but i couldn't. its like a body malfunction. my brain says wake up, my body says sleep. and when i did wake up, i couldn't move. then i realised i was still asleep. Then i tried to wake up again, and then when i thought i did, i still couldn't move. Then i realised i was still still alseep. and the cycle went on for more than 5 times, but i did manage to wake up. thanks to the noises some bikers made when they were drunk and fought with each other. or else, i think i'd still be struggling. to wake up.
i dont know why everyone is so happy today.
i feel like shit man.
shit is the number one most hatred thing i hate.
curse.
i think im fallingin love.
went to school. went to blood bank. bloody boring.
i only passed bio and mly and eng.
like wtfffff. okay enough.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARAH.
sorry if it wasn't great. and tell me, if they ever hurt u again...
im here okay.
physically mentally emotionally spiritually.
same goes to shamin. and hana.
honest person in the world.
okay. well after bloodbank, met
We met a little late.
but at least we met. i missed him.
we saw this coupla cats.
MATING(having sex). XD
at the mating coupla cats.
WTF SIA! lols lols.
we looked out for stars.
i, the blind one, couldnt really see much.
but its okay. he can be my eyesss.
i didnt feel heaven for soo longggg.
i just want moreeeeee.
i feel so so so complete.
love.
.
goodnight martians.
today was okay. loads of funny vids with farahandshamin. i smiled throughout. despite whatever. im a happy person thanks to healings. hes like the medicine. i hope.i mean. if it happens. if it. yeah. well. enough insecurities. hes just so nice and gentle and patient. seriously sometimes, i think, if im in his place i'd be pissed at me. i just cant believe a human can have that much patience and well, you know.
i borrowed heaven.
i need mylovveeee
wont wake up feeling alone anymore.
love
love
love
love
im in it
love
love
its like, once again,
all the love in the world.
cold brightness warm darkness
Monday, August 25, 2008
Time healing wounds; it kept its promise. [continued]
MET
JIGGAAAAAYE aka Fiq.
oh god, had a
wonderfull time. really did. smiled and smiled and laugh.
i was being myself. but cocooned in a shell of self-consciousness.
anyway, we walked a bit, went to a park... and sang and played.
poor guy had to bring his guitar. aww.
and then we had some fun.
=) clean one. and i hope hes okay. about the choking. tsk3.
okay more about the jibjabs of the rest of my day.
i went to school. i was dizzy. i dropped.
and i felt the world like its spinning and spinning and im giddy and falling and falling and all the eyes just watch and watch and they just smock out large spasms of laughter. pffft. talk about panic-attack. and school dragged on as per normal =) after it i rushed off to meet jiggs.
and yeah. ok.
emotion talk now.
________________
i feel that small warmth inside again.that tingly, hopeful, silent, happy feeling.its like oh no and finally both at once. im scared.but at least, happy. i know this happy,this happy is cotemporary. but its happy all the same.i just hope its a long-term happiness.oh love._________________
[continuation]
only to make new ones.
winter toss
Sunday, August 24, 2008
why is it so damn cold? pfft.
oh btw, a late update.
i met dinah the other day. oh sweetcakes i love her<3
and and, adilahs bitrhday has passed too. got her cakes, cupcakes.
sweet sweet cupcakes.
well, theres nine, and at least thats a gift from everyone.
my day?
1] my friends forgot
2] one of them didnt WANT to wish
3] i got gifts from only 2 people.
4] not a single slice of cake
5] it was a bad day
6] im jealous of everyone who had a celebration
7] on one of my friend's birthday, my besties came. on mine, not a wish, until late.
8] no party
the good stuff?
1] many wishes
2] ash gave me a nice sweater (from pullandbear)
3] my old friends remembered
4] mum and dad remembered
5] hana and shamin remembered VERY much
and nw i bz talking to zacky
life is the only thing you have
Friday, August 22, 2008
oh my god.
we were having a good time wasting money, me and hana.
We were waiting at the bus stop to go home,
and then, and then....
I saw a whitish car, it moved so slow in front of that bustop.
I was like, why the fuck you moving so slow bitch? and where's that goddamn buss... I had planned to take 912, since after scanning the whole bus-board, i couldn't find a possible bus that would lead me home. So then back to the tale. The slow car.
It was real slow. Like, around 30-40km/h. Okay, well, that's pretty slow, as the other carrs sped past. Then, with the cold hazy sleepiness in the air and the muffled smells of day-spent hard work of the crowded bustop, we all heard it. The screech on the slippery tar. The sound of something hard landing on a glass. More specifically, a windsheild. Of that white car. At that, most of us would have had turned, and saw it. An old, white-haired, unpropotionately fat and skinny at the same time, man, bounce on the windsheild, and prepexually, stiffly, unintentionally, flipped 360degrees and landed with a loud thud on the hard road.
oh the hazy evening, the cold air.
i saw a mother cover her little boy's eyes.
i saw people running to the man.
i saw the car stop.
i saw the boyfriend that was hugging his girlfriend run to the man.
i saw the crowd build and gather around the old lad.
i saw shocked faces.
i saw the blood drained from everyone's face.
i saw schoolkids gasping.
i saw panic.
i saw hana and myself staring at each other in disbelief.
but most importantly,
i saw it happen before my eyes.
it was a malaysian car. the plate was, JGG 8022. It was whitish. I think i know what happened.
Man wanted to cross the road. People usually jaywalk there, because the traffic light was quite a distance. Then, Driver slowed down because driver thought man was crossing. Man didn't walk because Man thought driver was going to drive. But eventually, when Man and Driver saw that neither was going to drive over or walk over, since Driver slowed down and Man didn't walk, they both moved. Man and Driver misunderstood each other. A misunderstanding I understood.
Basically, Man and Driver thought either of them was going to give way, and both had same thoughts. That either one of them was going to give way.
So anyway, after the astonishing gymnasticky backflip, Man didn't wake up. He just laid there, unconscious, causing anxiety amongst all the onlookers. And, typical Singaporeans, kaypoh, all gather around poor man, who must be devastated AND oxygen-less.
I heard aunties and men calling the ambulance. All the voices.
"hello hello 911 theres an accident at blablabla"
"ambulance! got accident on road man got hit come quick!"
"emergency, someone dying!"
"[some foreign language]"
"hey lets take a closer look" - i said.
For a few minutes all of us were probably hoping Man would wake up and be alive. Just alive. No need to be perfectly fine. Just, ALIVE. And blooping gooping gagtootiness.
Man woke up, stood straight, and actually RUBBED the blood OFF from the back of his head. HES ALIVE! He couldnt stand though, i bet his leg had an injury. It was pretty minor, as the car wasn't speeding and Man only got hit by a bit. No full impact. No airbags. But most importantly, no death.
The ambulance came in about what seemed like a gazzilion minutes later. pfft.
and btw; reply to taggers.
Fafa: yes, gwen's song. i just found it today after meeting hanafiz.
Randy: yes, him. u remember him =)
and to hanafiz; i really appreciate you meeting me. i know you're reading this. you told me about everything. you read about everything. didnt know u cared. guess u were just bored.
its hard to forget
And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
i stare at you, you stare at me.
i met Hanafiz today. My best ex boyfriend. And his gf Shadrini.
Looking into his eyes, and his new girlfriend...
I didnt feel any pain. Its a miracle isn't it. Memories flashed into our eyes.
The beach, the kiss, the fights, the dinners, the movies, the bike rides...
We know it. The way he stared at me. I knew he felt it too.
We have changed but we're still the same.
We went to a sacred place that we used to go to. I saw the way he held her hands.
Im glad he had found his real HER. I feel happy for him, really.
Its just. Its just. Kinda amazing feeling. Oh wells. aFiz, do take care.
....The way u smile. Oh that smile. The way you say 'RynnRynnRynnRynnRynn,ILY.'
hope you and Shadrini last. =) invite me to your wedding!
xoxo
good takence
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
so i was so damn sick today. but im better now after puking buckets of gooe. Maths test tmrw= die.
umm, to taggers: fafa, um ive updated.-ting. now.
Randy: Thanx for the love =) miss ya.
Tyra: I will link u if u just gave me d add! dont make it too dubai-ish tho.
Randy&Tyra: PLS DONT ARGUE IN MY TAGBOARD! pffffft.
&
to the new nakisuke tagger.
err. 'beepbeepwelcometoearth' yes id be your freind.
uhhhs. i dont know what else to say. OH YES.
cheers to new friends; jiggy, ajin, faz & ths guy i forgot ur name. oops, sorry.
lovessss.<3
emotional catastrophe
Friday, August 15, 2008
so, so tempted.
twisted words+opinions=no resolution
breathe rynn breathe, breathe deep.
hold your breath
give it
20191817161514131211
1019181716151413121
let it out
let it
all out
so much that theres no more air inside
feel the emptiness
wait
hold it there
restrain from inhaling
hold it
let it hurt
let it blurr
let it burn...
okay, inhale, exhale.
feel the joy?
oh yes.
did the stress go?
oh nope.
it didnt work?
oh was it supposed to? nope. =]
questions!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
found this at shamin's blog. I WANNA I WANNA!
so here goes my boredum!
1. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
-MARS2.What's your favourite thing to do?
-SING3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
-To some. Not me tho.4.If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be?
-A partner.5.Things you can't live without:
-A guideline. My family.6.What are you afraid to lose?
-Hope.7.If you win 1 million, what would you do?
-Save up, gain interest and more $$$. then id do things.8.What do you dream of doing in the future?
-Sing some more, and do labwork.9.List down 3 good points of the person who gave this survey:
-I dont know who gave me. I took it from shamin. Shes funny and kind and insane.10. What makes me happy?
-Getting something done after a long time.11. What type of person do you hate most?
-People who stalk you.12. If you could have a superpower what would it be?
-Pickup objects with eye contact. 13. Would you go for happiness or money?
-DUH happiness?!14. Who do you think is the most important person in your life?
-My mum.15. If you have a boyfriend, would you die for him?
-Nope. Wait. If it's a "jump on him before car hits him", then yes.16. Who was the last person who hugged you?
-Ryan.17. What is the one thing you want badly now?
-I want HIMMMM.18. Whom are you close to?
-My family. My friends. My imaginary cat-cum-bat.19. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him/her?
-Yes.20. If you could do one thing all over again, what would it be?
-Fall in love.7 things that scares you:
God, gossips, losing people, mum scolding me, divorce, death & love.7 things that you like most:
-My guitar, my room, my possesions, my friends, my family, HIM and dreaming.7 important things in my room:
-MY BED. My pillow. My sunflower pillow. My warm duvet. My clothes. My lipgloss. My perfumes.7 random facts bout me:
-VAIN. Pessimistic. Blurr. Likes to be alone. Friendly. Unattentive. An eavesdropper.7 things that I plan to do before I die:
Sing. Pray. Ask for foregiveness. Tell the truths to every single lie. Fly. Kiss my mum gdbye. Clean.
7 things I can do:
-Strum.Sing(outoftunely)Laugh.Clean.Drink.Eat.Sleep(ohyeah)
7 things that I can't do:
-Knit.Sew.Fix.Carry a lorry. Make programmes. Build a house. Fly.7 things you are attracted to in the opposite sex:
-Penetrating eye contact. Silence.????7 things that I often say:
-Shitty.WTF.Omg.LOL.Ok&&HUH.HAHA ok i havta bathe.
TODAAAY
TODAY WAS LAUGHTERRY! I laughed on my to and on my back from school. Class was as usual, boring a little, and i had a long great sleep, and yadayada typical day. Had drama rehearsal, was ok lah. Tomorrow's the big day yaw! And ms.lee cancelled our ob-scene, which is the funniest bit of all.... i wish she wouldnt. oh mslee the great(lol), we know that it's funny, and since we think it's funny, the age genre of ours will agree, because we are more or less the same. goofy, gaggly, goony. oh typical.
but anyway. yesterday, i had the longest greatest sleep (i had good sleeping times on the recent). I slept from like 8pm all the way till 5. Woke up wanting moreee. But school!
Umm, reply to taggersss.
aszzzz: that's great in a weird kind of way. in a way i dont remember your email. but do add me up! i'll be WAITING! <3s
syafiqah: baby! call me ! you know my n0.... im living right beside vista point there... text me gerlll.<3s
erin: IMYT, i miss all of u!<333s
okay then thats it. i was peeling potatoes so now im baking them for tomorrow. dont ask me whats so special about tomorrow. its private.
kidding people. but well if you think i miss you, say hello when you see me. i need that. and a hug, and a cheek kiss
LOL.kidding again.
reply
Monday, August 11, 2008
i have problems tagging, so anyway, a reply to taggers.
sofea: thanks sofea
randy: yesssssss imy too, googoogaaaah.!
fafa: you close your eyes and do codings.
tyra: TYRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH; come overrrr!
syq: we MUSTMUST meetupppppp
ell: ure ell ardel. =)
rey: rey tell me outing plan. i miss rangerssss.
dan: thanku dan. loves much.
th rest; well, id try &communicate luhs okay. lovessssss.♥
in the nightness
its two thirty six am. i am very very bored. fafa was online. until he said he had a toothache and pigged off. literally. and now theres this sydney guy bugging me for use of webcam. and i refuse and refuse because im not appropiate. and i am so tired and so bored but i cant sleep. i have made the new navigations thingie bacuse the boxes were to squeezey. and i wish right now someone would talk to me before i die of boredom. or sleep.
oh red.
the end of the mishap
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Yesterdaaay.
Met Hana, supposingly to spend day with her. We shifted everywhere to find a place to land butts and have something to eat, since we were both starved. But the food outlets were so darn packed we ended up going to 7/11 to find things to eat. (yet we didnt eat) and i ter-meet some sec 4 tech guys, and sofea. And then i went up with Hana to the rooftop at marina to meet Andre(andreana aka ashraff's cuzzin) and her schmates and epul and gf. Then we sat there awhile, then andre's sis elly and irfan and ths other frend (OMG IDK HER NAME?!) came so i hanged with them. Ash and azri came too. And this very loud happy funny guy who intro to us as Itam but his name is F.
HE IS
HILARIOUS. Haha. Then, Ash,
sweetest thing, gave me this pullover hoodie. Which. Is. SO. nice. It's from pull and bear, and i bet it costs a tonne, he gave it as a belated birthday gift but i didnt expect it to be sooo -
fill in a happy, great word here- ! It fits like perfectly, exactly my size, and its red and i love it and love it and oh thank u soo much ash&ily!
The fireworks, however, weren't really amusing. The rooftop view was pretty clear, though in the middle of entertainment, there was this
amazingly tall guy who bypassed and stood right in front of me, blocking my
entire view. I think he must know im very
TALL, right? idiot luhs. but ashraff managed to give me a spot.
Oh and by the way, Farah was around with ayu yesterday, and since Hana was uncomfortable with my friends she went with them and left without me. Oh and btw, farah, hana and ayu, you three looked great yesterday. *smiles*
AT 9.30 approx, we were told to go away from the rooftop, so we left and made our slow steady way to Dhoby Ghaut(is dat how u spell it? well wdev). Stayed there untill about 11, then left. Had some laughs with cracky lame jokes, and drank(water) and just sat there happy being there. There was quite a group of us, but i mainly talked to irfan and elly and the friend i forgot name and ash and funny F guy and andre. SO when i went home it was like almost twelve and i was dead tired. And went to try the lovely pullover and washed and intended to watch Zohan with brother but ended up sleeping halfway.
And thats it.
Today. Talke-d things out with poji.
Turns out there's nothing much to be a
big deal for.
Oh god
Thank god.
But ok.
Uhms.
excitement
Saturday, August 09, 2008
im excitedd!
gna gna gna meet hana, den meet ash and az and afiq and anis and and maybe maybe maybe adi and fifi and fai and and and everybedy else! and and my classmates who are gna be there and and AHAAAA. im bored and i cant sleeeeeeep. and tyra's cracking like mad onmsn right now. i cant bare her. my stomach hurts from laughing.
"tears"
muahahhaa.
FUCK
!FUCK!
all the racists, the selfish, the attention-seeking,
the heartbreakers, the love haters, the sexists,
the bitchers, the gossipers, the haters, the addicts,
the toyers, the spies, the act-ers, the cheap,
the drinkers, the mutilators, the pervs,
the boasters, the desperate, the
FUCKERS
for kiqueen.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Kiqueen(also known as saqueenah[its sakinah]) asked for me to update pictures of my room instead of JUST the living room. She said "i wanna see ur house but imma busy woman so take picts and update of your room and cupboards and clothes". Okay, so my room is a major eyesore, but at least it has a big queen bed where i can roll around(though i always sleep sideways in one position and wake up with a major shoulder ache) and a window bench where i can sit and play guitar/keyboard and stare outside. So [ki]queen of demands here you go (kidddinnng!). && i dont have a table. everything's on bed babeh(laptop, studies)
this is my room from the door.(mind the happy sunflower. it keeps my spirits high)
my room from the bench(sunflower again)
my precious aranged to colour from black-white-yellow-red-blue-green-brown etc tees n blouses(loads of red, the blues are at the back)
my dresses
my cardigans jackets and shawls( dat i never wore )
jeans, skirts, pants, etc. (two pairs one one hanger)
THE MAJOR EYESORE.
kay im lazy to take more pics, so kikin do come my house alrights. lovesss.
straightpersonal
i got tired of tyra's messy skin (sorry tyra, try harder babe) and decided to make my own. DO NOT COPY MY SMOKY HEART GRRRR. I just wanted it to be simple.. Didnt turn up for school today. Pointless uhs. Because its national day celebration and theres no important lesson so i'm at home to take care of sick mum. I prefer she work though. I want freedom at home(very rare).
Tomorrow i'm going out, to enjoy the crowded sweaty-ness of the people wherever i will be heading. Thing's for sure, im not not not going to sit home. Yesterday was an average day, yet again. && i shall call Tuesday 050808 black Tuesday.. Its so shitty and sucky i think its some curse. Gergh. Uhhm.
-wish you would make a move. u already trust me, now love me love me love me set me burning
total confrontation
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Friends. They look out for you, comfort you, help you stand and stand up for you. Friends dont let you walk alone,sit alone, cry alone. Friends don't make you worst than you already feel, they don't insult you with dagger words for jokes. Friends are true, they don't go away when you are talking to them, they don't go away when you fight with them. Friends trust you, and you trust them. Friends would stay by your side even if you ask them to go away, because they know something is wrong. Friends don't bitch about you and tell other people how sucky you are. And to this; i dare say, YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND.
the day
Monday, August 04, 2008
tiring day. depressing, still. but its just another ordinary day. me and hana found out the project was undoable, and, enjoyed soccer. we intended to try try basketballing with strangers but we ended up soccering. with two cute little kids chasing us. which got uncute and irritating in the end, according to hana.
im still frustrated. i dont know at what. its just nothing is going the way i want it to be. and SHE just has to make it worst. a three lettered person. sighs. i want the past to come back. i feel so downed. i need a wake up pill or something. tired to the bone.
i want space. i want you. i want myself. i want to enjoy. i want freedom. i want real friends. i want sincerity. i want to live.
i want you
im frustrated. frustrated that my personal life is invaded like $#%^. And shocked. Shocked that teachers read our blogs. That its became a big deal. Poor person i shall not name. and im bored. im bored and i should go to sleep but i cant.
And to some people. Guess who.
person#1
I NEED SPACE. Please let me breathe. Im better off on my own, i dont like being handlocked to anyone. I know u think its love, but its not to my view. It was too fast. Love takes time to develop, love takes reason, love takes reality. This isn't real. None of it ever is now, to think back. You're like chasing after a cloud that would in the end rain on you. Its not that i dont like you, just that i dont want this to go all wrong.
person#2
I NEED YOU. I want to see you i want to talk to you! You're so near, you're even confiding to me right now... I have this painful urge to tell you, but i can't. I want YOU to tell me instead. I think because it's a different flip, then. If you told me i'd be happier. If I told you it'd be embarrassing and degrading and not polite. Please, oh and im sorry for what happened to you. I will miss you in whatever the position you held before the incident. I want to be more, but i know we can never make it. But perhaps in secret?
person#3
you're a piece of shit. i dont know what you're trying to prove. i dont know why but i feel like slapping you. well that would be easy since you are in school. with me. and that sucks because i might accidently see you. and feel like killing you. i hope you die in a crash or something. oh did i just type that for everyone to see? oh no. sue me sue me -_-
angels1,2,3
i miss you three. if i havent be around much im sorry. and to syq, i apologise if i didnt update you. im really sorry to u three. ive been busy and caught up in my daily dose of shitty life that i forgot. i miss you three, and i love you guys.
person#4,5,6
you never seem to understand! you talk to me often, but when it comes to confronting about heartly issues u back off, u LET me cry, ure not true... if its all for the sake of wasting time, then get out. ergh.
rangers#b,p,w,o,g
IMYTOOTS. hope to see u guys against shiny bright lights in the sky soon.
and gdnyte.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Stay awake, stay awake
Survive
I've got nineteen stars that I
Give your name tonight
And I wanna scream, wanna scream your name.
Star light, star bright can save
You're my wish tonight
Don't tell me it doesn't matter
I'll tell you what matters
Bare feet in the summer
Open windows at night
You think that no one needs you
You don't have nothing to see through
Well I needed you.
Don't I count?Lets fight.
Show me anger
Fierce fists clutching onto air.
Show me anthing.
Just show me you care.
No one can catch me the way that you catch me the way that you keep me when I'm out of sight what if I need you what if I can't see you I'm running out of life
pictures
in case some doofuses dont know ive moved, umm, heres some pics of my living room and a pic of toilet. HAHA. My rooms pics will be up later on.
sorry rangers, cus it takes so long for our pics to live. so anyway.
this is when we went to east coast for the "last" holiday meeting. Not many pics. I only update 2.
haziq and sahidah's friend.
a group photo which i think i look shitty in.
this is our supposingly "study session" at sahidah's.
we went to a movie once too, at bugis. and these are pics of indivudual rangers (exc me.)
haziq- pink ranger (LOL)
Afiq- Black ranger (LOL AGAIN.)
Sahidah- White ranger =)
Rey- Orange ranger (YES oramge EXISTS)
Herman- Green ranger(the ultimate photographer)
and all of us, inc sahidah's lil bro Wafir. LOOK AT MY HEAD POPPIN. Look at herman's face! (lolx2)
afiq's pants got pooed by a bird. HAHA. its hilarious i tell u!
rey, afiq and zique.
ok lah thats all. i'll update again.
openhouse
about 70 people turned out, and im dead tired. tired but happy, somehow. it feels good to be tired. anyway, went to room with my cousin, my younger cousin, and my brother. and took pics. my cousins shy btw.
agg tired. nyte.
twisted motions
Friday, August 01, 2008
-u're my wish tonight
been a roller coaster ride of emotions. im not sure of myself. its as if something or someone is toying with my feelings. Like i dont even understand myself anymore. I feel so shitty. Im shaken by my own actions. I always want to be alone. Gawd, i need soul-searching. A real phase of difficulty. That even i dont understand. There's just an unrealistic scent about this. Something is missing. Missing badly. But im prepared to be decieved, to be shocked of what is. Gawd im so negative. Name anything negative, and i'd fit in, like it was custom-made especially for me. And being positive? Not my nature i guess. Because being negative means im prepared in case bad enws pops. But then again, i am NEVER prepared. Somebody told me, u have to spend everyday equally in 4 rooms; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, to be an almost-perfect person. Me? i spend it all in neverland. goo.
I had a boring day. SO full of tests. Im so guinea pigged. Uh.
Show me anger, fierceness. show me anything, show me ure there.
stay awake. stay awake, dont die....
-don't tell me, no need to hear. i know.
