“All that I am, or hope to be”

June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 November 2013 December 2013 February 2014 May 2014 June 2014

im in a nightmare heaven.
yet im scared to love.

.but i do love him.
that guy.
=)

but im afraid. relli afraid.

its so sickening to find out
that i dont have friends...

OR FAMILY.

oh whats happening now.
im dying dying dying.
and i swear never to trust anybody again.

i hate crying. its tiring.

i wish my mum will come back home.



WHY DID U DIE
WHY DID U DIE
WHY DID U DIE!!

...i miss u.

days are longer than ever. boredom stretches.
and stretches.
until its no longer stretchable.
it tears.
tearing.

lols. im crapping i know. just bored lah.

haha. hakim said "go find boyfriend and go out with him la"
and i said i dunwant. den he said
"if its so hard, go to the middle of the road,
and put one big sign on ur head; SINGLE,
ANYBODY WANT ME?"

haha. im not desperate lah toot.
and besides.
i scared all the apeks will come also.
LOLNESS.

and i miss these people;
faizal, azmi, fadly, shamin,
abg talib, farihin, amira,
and sesiape yg berkenaan.

[oh ure just a disgrace to gods creation, ass.]

oh you said so much.
without even parting your lips.

ure my only company...

skipping stones.
down this subsuburban street.

sighs.

im sorry.

happy
single
NOT AVAILABLE.
so shoo.

dear whoeverness..

i love u i love u i love u and i missssss u like wtfishhes...

i know what you want and u know what i want.
yet we're both oh so POLITE to not say it.

i hope we end up <3

oh sweet 16january...
hurry! HURRY! HURRYYYYYYy!

im sure u waited long enough
for somebody your type to hop by.

i didnt even thought it would heck be
somebody i know..
SO WELL.
*greeens*

lols. ure cute. reallliiie.
and even ur
=B
is cute.
LOL.

hahas. i'll rehearse whatever stuffs you said to me.
its now the one thought that counts, and is emerging slowly
onward. i didnt know u waited longer than all the rest.
and i didnt realise your loyalty,
faithfulness.
didnt realise how much you cared and how nice you are.
i didnt even give you the chance.

though im still not sure.
if i should... you know.
i just regret ever even loving last time.
way too much dedication.
and yet i have proof.
how used i was. gawshness.

now is enough to love,
to breathe,
to dedicate,
to give,
to take,
to believe,
to trust...

to have u?

oh i hope this lets you see.

sign, sincerely me.

forgotten them.

hees time to move on.

happy happy happy.

get it?
forgotten.
move.
happy.
yes i forgot.
and yes im moving.

cheers.
=)



sighs.

what a night to remember.
and what an early morning to forget.


oh so many bastards are living.
what a shame to god's creation.

my only company.
i missssss my life.

i'll miss it more later on. what would happen to my future?

who should i follow;
to ease this sorrow?

i have nobody now.
no mum no dad no older ones nobody near nobody to take care of me nobody to love...


GOSH
GOD
HELP ME.

WHAT IS IT YOURE TRYINNA SHOW?

shewt' me. hard. please.

[if u need me. i'd be uphill.]
now now, do you think it hurts much to die?
oh no im fine. please dont care for me.

everything isnt right.

all these things. happen at night.
insomia, fights, scream and mental disorders...

mum please dont cry
dad please dont kill urself and die.

cant take this. no.
really cant.

thank god i have friends.
and to those who cheered me up real good;
farhana, thahira, syafiqah } my friends from primary school times

and dear dear shamin...

i really really appreciate your kindness and give a little gold in your names. not to forget my abg talib though he only listened and thats pretty much all...

but. theres always a but.

im not sure if i can stablise my "ok-ness".

my swollen eyes i cannot hide.
and when i cry what else can you do but ignore me all over.

i hate u, su
i hate u, roy
and i hate u, fa'an. you guys reek. to the core.

-used me. they did. i didnt expect anything but just them being there to say hello...
and yet its always me. a little minus i hope u dont object.

now cant you see? no time. gotta cure this. somehow.
someway.

theres always a reason why these stuffs are shown.

oohs and anyway.
happy advanced birthday, roy[2nd nov]
and dinah,[13 nov].

take care,
happy people.